My first date of 2015 was possibly the best first date I have ever been on! Full of conversation, laughter and not short lived. For the record, he chose the name Super Mario, don’t ask me why, he doesn’t play video games or own a television however it makes me laugh so I’m going with it.
First off, I’d like to thank Tinder for hooking me up with this guy. Who would have thought swiping right could result in such powerful connection. From day 1, the conversation was smooth, easy and always interesting. He isn’t at all my typical type. He is a total city boy, hates brand names, avoids big box stores and let me remind you, doesn’t own a television. I wouldn’t call him a hipster but he is certainly no high maintenance diva like me.
Our first date was an accident. We spoke about it for over a week, had planned out how it would happen and what we would do. Then on a random Friday, I got a text saying we should jut make it tonight! I panicked. I need prep time people. I mean I looked flawless of course but I was stressed. What would I wear? What would we do? What would we talk about? What if our chemistry was just destined to exist over text message :s AH! Just as I was trying to talk myself out of it, he said the following: “Some of the best things in life have been spontaneous.” I had no response, no reason to disagree, so I jumped.
The night began with skating, an activity I hadn’t done since another awesome first date years ago! For over a 90 minutes we took turns talking about our lives, what we did for a living, where we grew up, what are families were like. He made me blush constantly and without even trying. It just kept happening for some unknown reason. At least we weren’t facing each other so I could somewhat hide it. It was so much fun, I didn’t care that I was freezing or that my skate was cutting into me. I wanted to reach for his hand so many times but for some reason I was too chicken to! What if he pulled away? What if someone had a problem with us? Ugh I should have just done it…
He decided that food was probably a good idea since we had both skipped dinner and just burned a ton of calories. I was pretty excited because if he wanted me to join him it meant he was having a great time as well. So we hit up this little asian restaurant and wasted another two hours sharing apps and having a few drinks. The damn blushing kept happening but this time around I had no way of hiding it. What was I going to do? Stare at the table, cover my face? I just owned it and hoped he though I was getting hot or something. Time passed by too easily and the conversation continued to flow naturally. After 4 hours, I thought for sure he had grown sick of me but to my surprise, he looked at me and said, wanna come up for a bit and continue this conversation.
Ok so here is where the tough decision had to be made. I know what it means to go up to someone’s place at nearly 1am and I just didn’t want it to be for that reason. I chose to make it clear that there was going to be no funny business if I walked in those doors. After all, that would go against my New Years resolution. As the words came out of my mouth, the fear of being dropped crept in. I’m not sure why, I mean if that’s all someone wants from me than I’m ok to say I don’t need them, but I wanted this guy to be good with it and not drop me. I wanted him to be different and once again to my surprise: “well that is presumptuous of you, I just assumed you’d rather talk somewhere warm than on the streets”. It was music to my ears.
I got a tour of his pad and while he sat at his desk to throw on some music, I sat on the bed. I swear it was the only seat nearby! He turned to me with a smirk and said: “for someone who wants no funny business, you wasted no time getting ready for it.” What do you say to that! All I could do was laugh and blush yet again… Damn I hate the effect he has on me.
He eventually joined me though and after more talking and basic cuddling he finally leaned in and gave me “my New Years” kiss! It was like fireworks. I can’t really explain it better than that. Just like amazing. Before I knew it it was 2:30am and we had been on this ride for over 6 hours. In an effort to not break my resolution, I got off that bed and began to start the “that was fun lets do it again soon” talk when he looked at me and asked me to stay the night. It was too late to drive 45 minutes home he said.
Ugh I was so torn! 95% of me wanted to scream yes! But that 5% was freaking the fuck out! What to do? Could I really sleep over and stay in control? Could I be that strong? And if I was capable, would he take it as disinterest? As a sign that I was a prude? Ugh in the cutest most adorable possible way, I reminded him of my resolution and my intentions. He just smiled. He grabbed my hand, pulled me back on the bed and with a smile said: “No pressure, I just said you should stay over and sleep. Whatever you choose, I’m good with.” It was so genuine, so honest. So for the second time that evening I jumped.
We both behaved.
We’ve had another great date together and I have to be honest, the chemistry is just unmeasurable. The guy gives me goosebumps with a kiss. It’s so unusual for me to feel that way or behave that way. We may not always have the most intellectually stimulating conversations, however they are always playful and enjoyable. It’s not all day and night texting but it’s consistent and equally shared. I don’t feel like I’m reaching for this guy.
My one fear is that he isn’t clear on where he stands with me. I am afraid he is emotionally unavailable. A guy that’s going to keep me guessing about how he feels, how we are, what we are and where we are heading. After the last 4.5 years of Judas, I can’t sign up for that.
It has now been 5 weeks of this back and forth so perhaps next time we meet if the passion is still soaring, we will have to have that conversation. Till then I will just continue to flirt my way through our day to day nonsense.