Every spring millions of people do a “spring cleaning” of sorts to help remove unwanted and unnecessary junk from their homes. This year I decided to take that to a whole new level by doing what I will now refer to as my “Spring Life Clense”.
The goal or purpose is the same: eliminate unwanted and useless clutter. However now instead of doing just your home, you’re doing yourself as well. It’s your chance to clear the slate and start fresh, you get to put the past behind you and move forward into a brighter, more clear and hopefully more promising future.
It was a full weekends worth of work. I got rid of 5 bags of clothing(yes I own enough clothes to not be affected by that total), rearranged the furniture in both bedrooms, and officially said Good Bye to my ex boyfriends. Let me expand on that last part…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofVSq5BoSPA (Wish you were here – Avril Lavigne)
I don’t know about you but for some reason after my major relationship ended and we split our ways, I still kept quite a few keep sakes of my former man. I still had our old bedding, clothes that I had snuck from his closet or that he had given me because they suited me better, and of course pictures, some of us together but mostly some of just him, pictures that really showed off the man I had fallen in love with. You know before all the evil happened and it ended.
It was important for me to do this in order to finally give moving on a real go. I did the pretend move on for almost 2 years, I did the rebound guy (whom I fell for but that’s a whole different story), did the casual dating with no real attempt at finding a keeper and I did the “smile and laugh” like you made the best decision in your life and never looked back. But I looked back almost daily. Reaching for the pictures, grabbing a shirt and just trying it on, or sleeping in my spare room in the old set… I guess I was still wishing and hoping it was all a dream.
But it wasn’t. He moved on and is now living with his new partner. Hearing that just confirmed to me that I was holding on to nothing and that it was time to accept my reality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIhg2492Ejc (GoodBye – Avril Lavigne)
Getting rid of the bedding was fun to me! I got a new set and I love it!! It suits my furniture and decorating to a T which is exciting because it took me 4 months to find something I liked. The clothes on the other hand was tough! When I saw a shirt, I remembered a great moment that happened when one of us was wearing it. They weren’t just shirts, they were memories. I actually got a bit upset on a few of them. And then there was the pictures… You know I don’t really understand why they were difficult for me to let go of. They weren’t shots of us together, they were from before we started dating lol I think it’s because they truly showcased the man I fell in love with, the vibrant, passionate person that took my breath away and made my heart beat through my chest at the same time. I think I was worried that by letting go of them, I was letting go of the possibility of feeling that feeling again. Anyways, after a few back and forths and a few tears I managed to eliminate everything minus 1 shirt and 1 photo.
The shirt, it is my favorite one of his. It’s classy, light and yet fun which really was what we were at our best. And the picture, he has a smirk, not a full smile and amazing eye contact with the camera, it’s the eyes he gave me everyday for 5.5 years. They are tucked away though as my last keepsakes. Maybe eventually I will be a strong enough person to let them go as well.
Today, I am bringing all my stuff (and his) to the giveaway store and it will be time for me to mentally move on and start smiling for real again!! For anyone who is “hoarding” their ex-boyfriends stuff, I strongly recommend doing this exercise. It has really helped me clear my head and get some clarity on the situation.
Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle part that counts and should be remembered… but not held onto.